Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Selling Off Our Real Government Assets

The Harper government, under pressure to prevent the federal deficit from ballooning, is pressing ahead with an asset review that could lead to the sale or privatization of several well-known Crown corporations, including Canada Post, Via Rail, the Royal Canadian Mint and the agency that oversees security at Canada's airports.(*)


Sorry, Mr. Prime Minister, but your little government assets bake sale won't even put a dent in that massive debt load that you've recently incurred, especially considering the current market conditions.

We need to start thinking big.

We need to start thinking ... sexy!

Now announcing the biggest government assets sale of all time!!

We're selling off the Conservative Party's real assets (wink, wink).


STEPHEN HARPER!!!(*)


Oh. My. Gawd.

Look at that leather vest.

Such poise. Such flair.

This man is easily worth $4 or $5 billion. Please start your biding now.


RONA AMBROSE!!!(*)


Ah!

Such grace. Such unmatched beauty.

Certainly Ms. Ambrose is worth $20 or $22 billion??

Start shelling out the cash now, boys. This one's going fast!


VIC TOEWS(*) ...


Oh, my.

Um.

This one ...

Yeah, we're not going to have much luck selling this one, are we?

All right, Mr. Toews. You can stay. But everybody else must go. It's a government-wide clearance sale!

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