Friday, February 6, 2009

Are You An Economy With Performance Issues?

Jim Flaherty announced yesterday that the Conservative government is "prepared to inject more stimulus into the sagging economy" by expanding Harper's monumentally ill-advised and futile spendulus package.

Upon reflection, however, I've decided to soften (*snicker*) my stance on the issue of stimulus a little bit. After all, Jim, every man worries now and again about the performance of his ... economy.

Are you an economy with performance issues? If it's hard to achieve and maintain growth, maybe Stimulus is right for you. Take Stimulus once every election cycle or whenever you're in need of economic enhancement. Economies with top-heavy debt loads and high tax burdens should not use Stimulus. Stimulus has many active ingredients but they are poorly understood by economists. Side effects may include hyper-inflation, stagnation, dollar devaluation, earmarks, excessive debt, bankruptcy, loss of jobs, growth of welfare state, expansion of nanny state, unrealized expectations, economic impotence, depression, halitosis, and sweaty palms. Stimulus has not been proven successful so it should not be used in the hopes of achieving actual growth.

Stimulus. Because all economies have performance issues.(*)

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